Transitions are a part of life. They are inevitable. Some are usually welcome like a new job, marriage, the birth of child. Other transitions are ones we may not welcome like death, loss of a job, or divorce. My family and I recently returned to Orlando after spending four years in Louisiana. This move has me thinking a lot about transitions. While we are managing well, it is still quite stressful. We have a new apartment, new jobs, new day care, and new routines all around. We are fortunate in that we know Orlando fairly well and we have maintained our friendships in the area. Still, though, managing transitions of any type demand that we use all the best coping strategies we can muster.
Maybe you are going through a transition, welcome, unwelcome, or little of both. Here are some things to keep in mind while managing your transition. First, acknowledge that transition is stressful. You may have heard the phrase “forewarned is forearmed.” We deal with life better when we know what to expect. When we anticipate difficulty we can prepare for it. Even when the stress we are experiencing is good stress, it still requires that we, and the people around us, make changes.
Second, maintain as many rituals as possible. It has been very important for my daughter’s transition to Florida that we make her morning and evening routines as consistent as possible. Any parent recognizes the importance of this for children. However, as adults we somehow forget that we also have rituals and routines that we have developed over the years. Keep having that morning cup of coffee, that yoga session, or time for prayer and meditation. The obvious corollary is to develop new rituals. Our new life situations demands this of us. These rituals and routines, old and new, keep us grounded and give our lives a sense of continuity and normalcy.
Third, maintain your social support and develop new relationships. Relationships are the engine that makes our lives run. If you have relocated or have been downsized, keep up with people in your personal social network. If you have experienced a loss, reach out to those who have been supportive of you in the past. If you don’t have anyone, reach out to a therapist or life coach.
Fourth, maintain open lines of communication. If your transition involves another person such as a spouse or partner or children, be sure that you are especially attentive to how and what you are communicating. We ought to be at our best in communicating during times of transition, but as often as not we are tired, distracted, or just plain lazy. Discussing what you are thinking and feeling with your significant other will greatly impact the ease with which you make your transition.
Finally, rest. Stress, whether it is good or bad, takes a great deal of energy. If you are a regular 8 hour a night sleeper, you may need an extra thirty minutes or an hour. If you are in a position to take a “power nap,” do it. Research supports the restorative power of a 20 minute nap in the middle of the day. Make sure that you are taking the time to engage in restorative activities like taking a walk or riding your bike. You are the tool that you use to engage in your daily activity. You must care for yourself in order to meet your daily responsibilities and accomplish your dreams.
